Like water to my soul

Today was a great day. I stood in front of a congragation and shared the "Faithfulness of GOD". I generally am very comfortable with pulpit ministry but this one is rather unique. It flowed like water, not because I was well prepared but I believe that the HOLY SPIRIT took over and spoke through me and TO ME. My eyes were filled with tears and my voice a bit shaky as the LORD reminded me that HE hasn't forgotten me.That HE is good and HIS love endures forever.
This was an overwhelming experience. The truth is that my immediate situation haven't changed and that I still am in need, but it didn't matter.He is still GOD and I have to let HIM be.
To trust in HIM and HIS plans for me.
Have you ever cried so much tears of joy? Today, I did. I don't know what would happen and how things will unfold but I trust that the LORD is GOD and HE is a faithful GOD.
I think that my relationship with my Heavenly Father is sweeter today not because HE may answer my prayers but because HE confirmed HIS fatherhood to me. I think I'm growing.
HE poured HIS grace to me today, like water to my soul.

How lovely isYour dwelling placeOh Lord Almighty,
For my soul longs And even faints For You
Oh, here my heart Is satisfied Within Your presence
I sing beneath The shadow of Your wings
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts Than thousands elsewhere
One thing I ask,And I would seek,
To see Your beauty
To find You inThe place Your glory dwells
My heart and flesh cry outTo You, the Living God
Your Spirit's water to my soul
I've tasted, and I've seen Come once again to me
I will draw near to You I will draw near to You

God is faithful

It was saturday evening at 8pm and my brother John asked me if I am able to preach this sunday. We have been talking a lot about our struggles, both his and mine. I asked him what subject would he want me to share and he said, what about the faithfulness of GOD.
I felt a lump in my throat but decided to accept the invitation. I know doctrinaly that GOD is faithful but can I really say it and believe it at this time of my need?
I took out my bible and studied God's faithfulness and I cannot help it but cry. It so so easy to believe in GOD's faithfulness in abundance, when the bank account looks good, vacations are exciting, the love of families and friends are overflowing, bosses thinks well of you, your wife thinks you are cute (still) and you are comfortable.What if suddenly you are thrown in the lion's den or being tied up to be thrown in a furnace or riding a boat in the middle of the night being swamped by a storm is GOD still faithful?
I have made many sermon notes but by far this has been the toughest one as it hits the core of my heart. This sermon is meant for me.
Can I say "when the darkness closes in, LORD, still I will say Blessed be your name"?
Five hours of reading scriptures and crying, I can honestly say that GOD is faithful regardless of circumstances. I may not understand what is happening but I have to let HIM be GOD and believe that what HE does is for my ultimate good and will bring HIM glory even if I must cry.
It feels good to cry while sitting at my heavenly father's lap. I don't understand but it is OK.

All the king's horses

i was invited to meet with the ministerial group once again to see if they can accomodate my needs for the project. They all know that I've lived in canada for 25 years and maybe assumed that I do not speak nor understand the common language anymore. Most of the conversation revolved around politics (again). They were talking to a man and guaranteeing him a post in congress as they claimed that they can "persuade"the mass. This was like watching a chess match where pawns and other pieces are manipulated to get political results, unfortunately the players are "ministers" of the gospel. The pulpits have become a place of propaganda rather than insight for Godly living.
I know that the country is in need of a political leader that fears the LORD, whose mind is not corrupted by material things and who is upright in his ways.I believe that it is a christian duty to pray for good leadership ,vote and be proactive in causes that affects the country, but the church and the pulpit should not be used as a voicebox of politics, it belongs to GOD. It should be a place where we learn to "do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with GOD" and not "this person is the answer to our crisis".
This country has a political crisis, moreso, this country has a big spiritual crisis. The spiritual leaders are waiting to crown a new "king Saul"and expecting the the king will bring us to the promised land with political will.
I left the meeting with no resolve. I do not have an interest in getting help in this way. At least I got a free meal out of it.

An evening in the political arena

I finally got in touch of the head bishop in the Philippines. He invited me to come see him with his ministerial group, mostly pastors of different denominational churches in Manila. I have never met a bishop before so I was a bit intimidated but excited at the same time. I tried to get as many information about him in preparation for the meeting. I found out that he has been the spiritual "advisor and friend" of past presidents of the Republic including the incumbent. He studied under the tutulage of my previous pastor in my church in cubao and was a roommate of my friend during their times in bible school. I feel comfortable and ready to meet him with the expectation that he somehow would be able to assist me with my project.
I have never seen a group of pastors that have more cell phones than an average joe, each phones ringing constantly like a set from a busy call center. The phone conversations sounded cabal and it is making me feel uneasy. I feel that I am in a political boiler room operation. I was hoping for a spiritual encouragement in meeting these men, but why are my "spider senses" telling me something else? We arranged another meeting to deal with my needs. This was not an encouraging evening, not that I did not get any help for my needs but that my expectations of a ministerial group is to provide spiritual things and not political opportunities. What a night.

Try and try again

I figured if the financial institutions and the government cannot assist me perhaps the christian community can. I went and visited an organization called the Center For Community Transformation. They met with me and shared what they do for the glory of GOD. I was impressed by their work. One of their street work is pretty much comparable to what I've done with the UGM in New West. They are not able to help me but they were able to get me in contact with the head bishop of the the evangelical churches in the Philippines. A strong sense of encouragement was placed in my heart once again. At least a new opportunity lit up its way. I pray that the LORD would continue to guide me in this adventure of a lifetime.

Count your Blessings

This has been such terrible times for me. I can almost sympathize with the Detroit Lions with their losing record. I cannot seem to get any breaks at all in spite of my hard work and tenacity. Part of me wants to quit and just go home yet I know that I must endure hardships and follow the LORD regardless. "GOD is not finished yet", I keep telling myself.
One wonderful silver lining is that I am having a great time "getting to know" my brother John again. It has been a long time since we actually talked. It is so nice to see and hear his walk with the LORD. I am very encouraged to hear what GOD has done in his life. I am also enjoying the company of his children. I have to continue to count my blessings. Life is tough, but GOD is still good.

1. When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
   When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
   Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
   And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
   • Refrain:
     Count your blessings, name them one by one,
     Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
     Count your blessings, name them one by one,
     *Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.
     [*And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.]
2. Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
   Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
   Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
   And you will keep singing as the days go by.
3. When you look at others with their lands and gold,
   Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
   Count your many blessings—wealth can never buy
   Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
4. So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
   Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
   Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
   Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Viewpoint

I was at the Farmer's Market today and saw 3 little kids no older than my son J.J. They were malnourished and seemed stricken my some skin disease. I bought them a dozen donuts and walked away. I heard them yelling thank you to me. I turned around and smiled back at them. I noticed one of the boys took 5 of the donuts and ran inside a culvert. I peeped in and saw him putting donuts on the hands of other sleeping children. A beggar giving other beggars a food to eat. I was tremendously blessed to have seen this. What am I complaining about? My problems are small comparing to these little ones. GOD bless them.

Tomorrow

I embarked today to see if I can get some assistance from the government level. I contacted the United Nations in Manila and they invited me to visit an organization under their umbrella to see if they can help me out. I went to see the operations director and told me that they specialize in Small and Medium Enterprise just like mine.This was sounding very promising.I shared my plans and paperwork for a whole hour. He applauded me for my vision and then gave me their offerings. I can borrow money for my project at a cost of 35% for annum.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I said at the top of my lungs. How do expect your clients to get above the level of their situation with such crazy usurious rates as these?. The man shrugged his shoulders and said that this is the way it is It seemed that the only ones getting real help here are the "poor" bankers. I left with a sick feeling in my stomach. These are people that are supposed to make a difference in the lives of others, instead it breaks the back of the people that truly needs help. Dear God, where do i go now?
The sun'll come out Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollarThat tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs, And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck with a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And grin,
And say,
Oh
The sun'll come out Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on Tïll tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

Trading my sorrows

I probably have gone to all the major banks in Manila with having the very same results of giving me a pat in the back for my plans and that .."oh, I wish there were more like you" platitudes. It is so hard to keep coming up empty in spite of all my effort. Everybody seems to like the idea of someone taking the" risk of their lives" to try to make a difference, they will cheer but they themselves will not jump into the arena because of risk. As one of the banker told me, "we prefer to make a difference without the use of our money, it is too much of a risk." Once again, I came home feeling like a reject,but still believing that I must continue on pressing towards the goal regardless of the pain and agony.
The word RISK got me in deep thoughts. It enabled me to think a bit differently about many things in life. We work hard to build security and comfort for us then we become risk averse in helping others if it means that it will lessen our comfort level. We quote the passage that says "Each man should give what he has decided to give...God loves a cheerful giver" and loathed the "tenth" idea of a tithe claiming that we are now under grace, not because we understand the principle but because we can give less and not feel bad about it. We don't really have to pray and trust God for our daily bread when we can stock our pantries that can last for weeks, we just pray in a mechanical fashion.
This is a good experience for me regardless of my present condition. I must trust the LORD in the "middle of the night" and not just in the light of day. HE will come through.

I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

Chorus:
And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

Ate Cynthia

I was awakened by my brother's scream early morning. I came out of my room and saw him cradling my sister in law on the dining room floor.I ran outside to get a taxi. The taxi then fled the scene when we told him that this was a medical emergency. Fortunately, the neighbor lent us their van. My brother and I took my sis-in law to the hospital.
After several tests, they found out that she passed out due to internal bleeding caused by ruptured fibroids. She has lost a lot of blood and needing immediate surgery. My brother had to go to the Red Cross for four liters of blood. It is good for me to be here and be of help to my brother's family.
Regardless of my pressing needs at this present time, I feel that the LORD has sent me to Manila for other purposes as well.